altoecko
=---------------------------------------------------------=
we are societies prized labeled lost
children
willing to work
but having no jobs
millennials
generation y
whatever
we have to pay more
for less
the most educated
with less application
helicopter parents
have spoiled so many of us
so many of us
helicopter societies
breeding us into
educated unintellectuals
with our instant messages
with no content
besides to tell you where the party is
where the jobs aren't
we're all so charismatic
and drugged out
or drunk up
or whatever
because we have to be sometimes
big brother is speaking to us
directly I might add,
because when you take away the illusion of strings
it's easier to just put your hand inside of us
and contort how you think we should be
we are connected to the internet
as if it's some grandiose new form of
air
the greatest tool ever
we could unscrew any idea or thought we come upon
instead we just open up a paint can of absurdity
of culture
because I mean,
the world is collapsing around us
and we have the will to hold it up
but no place to stand
so why the hell not study up for the apocalypse?
watch a movie,
but know what it means
listen to a song
and read the lyrics
read a book
and know the author
define the emotion
know what it means
to mean what you do
don't be an egg shell
be a yolk
those higher up care
but not nearly enough
because it's the same story
we've been told a thousand times
the evils of capitalism
the anonymity of socialism
the dangers of every way of life we know
and the ease of every way of life we can't have
we're all too complex
but too simplistic in our complexity
because sometimes that's all you can do
you can be broad and ever expanding
but in reality you're just a thin piece of a person
malleable
but not that thick
or you can be a dense chunk
of whatever the fuck you want to be
we have our cars
(old is cool,
new is expensive)
fuck efficiency
most of us are too eager
to just have a ride
and we have fashion
scene kids
indie kids
emo kids
children
because we have to be
because we want to be
all the irresponsibility of adulthood
sex, drugs, and music
all the care frees of childhood
young
that's what describes us well
jobs don't define us
because we can't pick defining jobs
we just work retail
wait staff
hospitality
because it leaves enough free time
to party
and makes enough money
to live
and there is so much difference between
a psychology major
and a psychologist
major a
a-ist
though there's still not much difference
in a business major
and a business man
we've got all the greatest dreamers
and all the worlds finest pessimists
le petit prince
Oyster(and his book of spells)
The Prophet
Bukowski
and so much fucking more
and I for one
have the knowledge
but I'll be god damned
if i know
what to do
with
it
we know what dystopias are
we're fully aware of utopias and their blinding ability
and we even know about Randian heroes
BUT
BUT
BUT
there's always a butt
always an asshole
somewhere
holding things up
(not in a roof sense
more in queue sense)
and by god
i'd sock em in his grinning face if i could
but it's probably some idiot
who doesn't know better
and you can't blame a whole system of education
can you?
I mean sure you can
but it feels like a cop-out
there is no Pareto efficiency to our model
there is no free market
capitalism works
if there's equal opportunity for competition
but there's not
because when you can sell to more
you can sell for less
and when wal-mart's selling you everything cheaper
and you can't afford to support your friends
you can sell out for less
because even though you know how much you're worth
you'll only get so much on eBay
on amazon
on anywhere
because the world is a play
and my generation
showed up after the auditions
but we still have to play our parts
when most of the time
we don't even have one
I am not a pessimist
I am an idealist
only because
I'd rather shoot for the stars
and land amongst
whatever rubble
will catch me
but that one time
I catch a ride on one of those stars
by god you bet your ass I'll ride it
ride it till I've lost track of the little things
(little things being the Earth mind you)
but I shouldn't want that
because fame and power corrupts
and I've come to show you
knowledge is power
miserable
self-gratifying
power
and i could just be speaking for myself
but I see a lot of sadness in our souls
and fake smiles on our faces
because if we're fun enough to be around
then people will keep us around
and when the rot of society falls in
and we're gathered around trashcans aflame with pop culture
we'll want people to keep us around
just so we can feed off the warmth
I am a patriot
but stating you're the best
and being the best
are two different things
and I'm willing to help make us better
but I don't have a clue where to stand
and I've got a diploma
like everyone else
and I've got a degree
like everyone else
and I've got ambition
like everyone else
but these gold stars
don't do shit these days
we're all so many pretty pictures
artists if you will
crafting out beautiful works of
art
because when the world won't let you work
it will let you be an artist
which as we know is a fancy word for lazy-do-nothing
with a few more definitions tacked on here and there
I've gone on for too long
stretched this poem out too thin
and I don't know if it's a sheet
or a chunk
but it at least has definition
and a message
it's an SOS
to everyone higher up
I'm not asking you to take care of us
I'm asking you to let us take care of ourselves
to stop hoarding all the money
for rainy days
because it's raining here
to stop spreading yourself so thin
you're not a quilt to warm us
you're just a sheet to hide what's underneath
to stop
think
and realize that we can't keep up the pace
survival of the fittest?
so be it
but don't blame us
when it all collapses in
we'll be pillars
well defined
but pillars standing in random places
with the ceiling falling in from above
with the rubble all around us
scabbed knees
like children
but not from falling down
from digging out each other
broken bones
and spirits
nursed by more spirits and hallucinogenics
I don't know about you guys
but I have the map
and I'm still lost
Here Goes Nothingness 05-01-08 18:48
Before Alex complains again, my text is perfectly formatted but your little box here takes that away. I'll add spaces between the paragraphs to help.


What I say here has been said before by others in better words and has probably already been thoroughly refuted by some bureaucrat with an overly large vocabulary and a will to destroy dreams. Kant says that the only way metaphysics are possible is through the system he proposes and he leaves leeway saying that you must destroy his thought or come through it if you ever hope to go into the future of the mind. He was of course destroyed several times over and passed through just as many times I'm sure. The full extent to which he has been used and abused is outside of my reading range currently, I will assume he is horrendously outdated by modern standards of excellence, but still admired for how thorough and beautiful his system is. I will try to use as few passages as I can from him so that others who read this don't require a knowledge of the book to understand the meaning of this paper. Kant made the same mistake most everyone besides Astrophysicists and Science Fiction writers make, that is he doesn't take into full account how brilliant the generations afterwards will be. Sure, there will be billions of men who come after us who are complete and total jack-asses by most meanings of the word but there will be enough men(and women of course) amongst them to make great leaps forward.

“Yet the differences are internal as the senses teach, for, notwithstanding their equality and similarity, the left hand cannot be enclosed in the same bounds as the right one (they are not congruent); the glove of one hand cannot be used for another.” Kant says this in the First Part of the Prolegomena To Any Future Metaphysics in § 13 second paragraph. I added my own emphasis of course because it drives my point home quite a bit. Having not yet established a point, I suppose I should get it out of the way. Just because it works for you and everyone you know every time, does not mean it will work for every one all the time. It doesn't mean it won't work for everyone, it just means that all things holding, it doesn't have to be real. But this has been established by smarter men than I too. I'll go a bit further, just because the glove fits you just right, doesn't mean the glove will fit others. We have gloves that go on both hands these days, they're ambidextrous and sometimes tailor made to fit just your two hands right. What does this have to do with metaphysics? I propose that we should be our own tailors for our existential dealings. Kant says this too, but does not realize the full scope of it. Now, if we want a good firm fitting metaphysics we will have to have it tailored especially to our likings, but most modern day men(yes, yes, I know, women too, but I enjoy the sound of it this way, bear with me) doesn't have the time to do such trivial things so they buy a ready-made ideology from a New York Times Bestseller, something Oprah suggests to them, they had it bred into them by some church, or a plethora of other such means and ends. Now this is sad for the human individual, but it works. Do you know why it works? Because if you force a man into a mold and tell him it is all encompassing, he will believe you, if you do it right. Just as in cults and other brain washing ways a man will not know he is trapped till he is already on the outside or someone shows him the fatal flaw of his ways. Even then he has to believe that what he is seeing is true and real, and we return to Plato. After all these years, we still haven't gotten very far into the mind yet we still try. I should rephrase, we have gotten VERY far into the mind, but we keep traveling deeper seldom at times leaving the essential bread crumbs to get back. I know this all seems like a tangent of an idea, but it will make sense eventually, at least I hope it does. If Kant is to be believe we can not have a true rational psychology, a complete cosmology, or total theology I agree to an extent. We have come so far with our slow gradual steps that we now have the ability to monitor thoughts as they are forming in the brain. Do you realize the implications of this? We can, with the full certainty that modern science allows us, tell where thoughts come from. Kant would be pleased. There's a slight problem though, where my thoughts come from and from where yours come from is not the same. There are a few amalgamations of the brain that do well to show where most of our thoughts come from but the maps are only true for a percent of the population, not a whole. Kant would think it a terrible world to live in, one where the maps you buy of the world around you only work half the time. I'll give it to Kant, perhaps there is no true objectivity if his system is not in place. There is another mistake a lot of men make, they always look for an ultimate answer, THE one truth that pulls everything they've been raving about together. There is no one truth, there are several truths and at times they too are false. Bringing back the maps, a map of Europe will show you how to navigate Europe, but it will not show you Asia. It won't show you every fine little detail of Europe either. Things change it's life I'm sure if we tracked it down far enough we could affirm our flawed logic that there was one ultimate beginning but what good would it do us? It would perhaps end a few religious battles but it wouldn't really enrich the lives we've built for ourselves here and there will always be skeptics. So why is it then that we obsess with these things that are out there? I'm not advocating Pantheism mind you, just keep that in mind.

We(and I do say we lightly) philosophers are the loneliest men I know. We create these wonderful little worlds all by ourselves and then invite others to come enjoy it in hopes that they claim it to be the next great truth. There is no harm in building gloves that are ready made to fit most anyone, but we must always be mindful that there are those that the gloves don't fit, but that doesn't mean we should acquit(Jesse Jackson eat your heart out) their ideals. We've built these wondrous worlds that envelop so much of our lives to the point that without culture and society, our brains are practically worthless. Neuroscience has shown that our Cerebral Cortex's are pretty much useless without society. Do you know what that means? I don't fully know what it means but I know that it shows well enough that we have grounded ourselves into the world we've made, for better or worse. Sure, we could all go out and be animals of the wild once more, but we've tasted better lives and we shouldn't go back. Is a rational Psychology possible? I think so, even with Kant's little world intact I think we could make a map of the mind that fit most people. Most mind you, not all. Kant might say that's not a true rational psychology though, I think it's true enough if we made enough maps to cover every variant we've found. It will take a long time, but from there we could map out the true correlations, the few things that do seem to hold steady throughout, but I think it may not be too many things.

Chaosmos is something I am not too well versed in but I've been told this is similar to the ideas I preach, that's fine, I'm okay with being the echo of greater minds from time to time, it's hard being authentic anyways. Chaosmos is the idea that the world constantly recreates and destroys order amongst itself. I don't agree with that entirely, but they have a lot of good points. I think WE(not just philosophers this time, but everyone) create the order. The universe is big, and it follows a few fundamental laws that we probably don't know yet, but the variants that can exist are probably mind boggling, but these few laws will probably always exist. Think geometry like Kant did, you can't have a triangle with four sides. It's just how we've defined triangle, we set the rules too rigid, and that's fine. A lot of people need to know there is order in the world or they go insane like Nietzsche.

Then there are men(last time I'm going to say women are implied too) like myself who are just fine floating in the abstract. The way I see it, if we look at chaos long enough will notice patterns another way to word the idea is, if you look for something hard enough you'll find it even when it's not there your brain is a wonderful machine after-all and can draw connections for you if you'd like. Who cares if the connections are valid, we've drawn the line, now pick a side. Most of us live privileged lives or completely squalor lives, what I'm trying to say is that some of us are better friends with misery while others know the habits of happiness. That doesn't mean either are wrong, it just means that they don't always come bearing the same outlook on life or the same vocabulary to define themselves. I've created a rational psychology for me that works nearly perfectly and I've also made a wondrous cosmology, though it is severely lacking but if I told it all to you it wouldn't do very well, because it's pretty centered around me not you. Kant's world of thought is centered around him, just like most every other Philosopher's and as we've been over his model may fit a lot of people, but it doesn't fit them all.

I believe the next great leap in human conquering of stuff(this includes God/nature/whatever you want to put inside), because that is after-all what we do, will be artificial intelligence. Those few men among us who study every field they can get their hands on, they notice the true patterns but we've all branched off into our own little worlds that to interlink them is a terribly troubling ordeal. If we could link all the branches together, we'd have a wondrous cosmology and psychology. Hell, every field would be greatly benefited, but we should be wary not to create a malevolent God, since that would be what we were essentially making. We conquistadors of life will surely rob ourselves of life once more, we pretty much always have so let's not make the same mistake forever. The fullness of the collective human knowledge is immense and incredible so much so that we must often at times learn the same mistakes constantly before they're pervasive enough in all the fields to where we know better.

I'm proud of myself for the fact that it's not until this late into the writing that I mention drugs, but I mention them in the same vain as Artificial Intelligence and those maps I talked about. Some drugs will show you the edges of the map that aren't on the paper, other drugs will just draw a new map altogether. I think it should be up to you to decipher the good from the bad. A friend of mine says that you can't have true free will until you drop acid, I don't agree, but there may be some validity to his statement. Just once in our lives we should all have to look deep into the eyes of chaos if only to show us that there's a pattern if we look for it, but that finding it is a lot harder than we think. Drugs are an easy way to view that Chaos, Astrophysics is another, and at times I think politics is yet another. Drugs are not the answer but for some people they are the tool to get the answer.

Kant believed in working towards totality and so do I, for if we don't work as if there is an ultimate answer than there is no much use in our work. We're going from different directions but still we strike at the same problems. Though we may come up with different answers through our different answers we can derive ourselves a better present life. Bringing back the map idea we should decide just how far out we want to map and how far in we should map also. I guess I slightly do agree that we can't have a complete as in absolute forever and always Metaphysics but I believe that we can start small and go out near infinitely. We just need to know where to start or where to stop. I once got into a discussion with classmates about various topics of philosophy and they all kept trying to find the initial starting point of our fallacies. I would warn them that this was a never ending slope but they would not believe me, most every argument ended without deciding much of anything. You as a person and we as a collective must decide where to draw the line because nature and our predecessors did not. I'm not saying draw a line to cut things off like Kant did, I'm saying we should first identify the problem, then decided just how far back and how far forward we wish to go. I can accept forever forward, but not forever back. Once we have established a firm starting point we should work to fix the problem from there. I do hope this image is portrayed well, it is clear in my mind but I worry it is befuddled on the page. Sometimes the line should be drawn at now, fix the problem now, the past is done and cannot be undone, yet. Oh no, I think I'm agreeing with Kant again slightly. The best way to word this argument would be: Though there is no true objectivity or no true absolutes, that does not mean we cannot instill both for the purposes of solving a problem. A changing absolute is not as uncommon as you'd think, a constant variable in one equation is not present in another. We must know where to draw the line.

I am mortal and I have not died to my knowledge, so I can not speak on Theology with any great certainty. All I know is that I am here and I will make the best of it. Whatever that means.

This paper ended up being much shorter than I thought and a lot more encompassing than I hoped, it is probably a jumble of thoughts and is perhaps terrible but it is my sincere hope that you pulled something useful out of this. For every folly there is a lesson and life will teach the lesson to you an infinite amount of times until you learn it. Your lesson is not my lesson, your Nietzsche is not my Nietzsche, and thank some omnipredicate being your life is not my life. Not everyone is a talented geographer or tailor though, so most have to buy their ideologies pre-made. Don't insult them or belittle them, they did the best they could it's up to those who can graft their own world to help specially tailor the others. You don't have to, because nothing is absolute, but it's just the nice thing to do. I'm young and not nearly as educated as many I have met, but I have an earnest will to try take my arguments with a grain of salt or not, this is what I have to offer you so far.
It's a story, I guess. 04-26-08 15:36
  I do not know if I write as a form of bemusement or just a way to torture myself. Well, I do not know why I write these things. "Whatever are these things you speak of?" I speak of love and I write of lust unencumbered by guilt or suspicion. I will tell you a tale, a short, simple, sweet one that never happened but in the quiet halls of my heart. I awoke one morning with her nestled into me and I knew that the world was quite right in it's ways. For me anyways. I lay there for 45 minutes thinking and not wanting to move, not wanting to end this moment, and certainly not wanting to awaken my queen. With every principality though there was an original "royal" blooded spouse, and that was I, HER King. I had no subjects, I had no noblemen, I must admit I had no Magna Carta equivalent either, but I had my queen. I see no point in describing her to you as I feel you can better place your dream into the holes my heart has so delicately cut out. Her face reminded me of a dream I once had and her smell told me I was home. This is all you shall know of her. I am a good man, a proud man, but often a lonely man. So in these glimpses of love when I get to drink a little wine and smoke a tad bit of life, I cherish them. I cherish them more than memories of my childhood. Let us be thankful my brain has so much space in its attic, lest I fear my past may have already been long gone sold for a nickel a memory to a small kid who got dragged along by his mother. I take the metaphor too far, careful Mitchell, lest you lose this dream.
 She finally awoke, eyes cracking slowly to let the sunshine seep in peacefully. "Good morning my angel." is whispered with a kiss on her forehead. "You're too sappy, you know that?" she sighed resting her head again on my chest. "I know, but I have you now, allow me my romance while you'll still stomach it." I won't specify who said this, because at times I feel it's not me. I offered to make breakfast and dabbled it with a bit of innuendo, please let me scramble yours eggs one last time before I have to face the world out there. There was nothing to do today, I had planned it so. She had nothing to do today, through planning or chance smiling on me I'm not sure. So we held each other. Asked the day to wait. It did so patiently.
 I woke up again and there was no one there. My sheets smelled of home and there was nothing but a dream lingering on my pillow. Please let me sleep some more, won't you wait for me day? It did not. The day faded into books, papers, and the feint sound of a festival on the horizon. The night arrived bringing with it a mockery of my situation. I wrote this in my defense of the night, but even these words cannot fully fill the hole so affectionately cut, only you can do that my dear. I am a good man, I am a proud man, but I am often at times a lonely man.
From a scientific standpoint I'm not very big on their method. From a philosophical standpoint I'm a bit too common in my language and not precise enough. For poetry I'm too structured. For English I'm too raw. For Psychology I'm not heuristic enough and I certainly don't have any helpful theories written out right now. For a hipster I'm certainly not deck and I'm too aware of who I am to be cool. I over-analyze most everything, and while that's okay sometimes, it mostly just ruins the fun. I come off as desperate when I'm honestly just eager. I have patience, near infinite amounts of it, but I don't always like to use it. I read, but not nearly enough. I procrastinate to the point that it is dangerous for me. My grades in college are terrible. I have many friends, but not many good friends. This is typical I know, but I don't even get to hang out with my good friends more than once or so a month. People are not always too accepting of me, I am unaware if this is a problem with me or them. I will not sacrifice who I am but I will make compromises to meet society half-way. For an intellect I am too common. For a commoner I am too intelligent. For the middle ground, I'm not nearly nerdy enough. For a romantic, I have no material to write on. For an idealist I'm skeptical of my youth. For a skeptic I'm too trusting of new ideas. For a conspirator I hate most of the the alternatives I'm offered. For a human I'm often at times too alien. For an alien I'm far too entrenched in their world. I talk about myself enough to be a post-modernist but I don't do enough about it to qualify for the perks. I am a card carrying member, but I certainly don't show up for the meetings. I want to take dance lessons, learn French, and play an instrument. All three of these things should be done in the company of others, but I often at times have no others. Once again, is this a problem with me or society?
03-26-08 20:38
If it's a test, I fear I may fail.
But life shouldn't be to such standards
I will take the abstract,
And I will make it thoroughly mine

Four lines
Should
do
but perhaps
five will throw them off

For I fear they will always be
two steps
somehow
ahead
always
three behind

No, it will not forever increase in it's glory

I will bring it to sudden stops
and sometimes gradual slopes

but at other times
it seems it
may just be



disjointed in it's ways.

Another poem to add to the fire
a fire that is my existence
and if I burn out
will my ashes be place in an urn
or scattered to the wind?
Surely they will not cage me
let me run
even in my death
let me race the wind
and pray that if I cannot beat it
let me at least tie it

I should not write of my life so trivially
says the one who takes it all so seriously
The one of what?
Why the masks of course!

I can throw my own costume party
nothing quite as wild
as those eyes
wide
open folks I know

but perhaps if we all
pretended
it would be one helluva time

soft giggles
come down the hallway
jealousy never hit me so softly
we are making a log of life right now
to understand where to go from here
counting up each ring will do me no good
as the only two I've got
have no fingers to go on

Someday,
when there's someone
stupid enough
strange enough
but I'd like to think
lucky enough
to settle for me
one ring will find a home
the other will wait

there was fire in my skies
and none in my heart
when the war swept through
I stayed warm by the glow
of all it ate

I want to fall into it
"like a daydream
or a fever"
but no one has a temperature
quite as high
as mine

Am I delirious, or just....
insane

Am I product of society or just...
who I always was.

Violins play for me
a sad song
but I know I can make it more
I can craft it
if someone took my hand
but I lay
amongst the rubble
hand above in the fresh air
soul suffocating in it's debris

Man destroyed his own world
God nearly sighed
Man became God
God nearly died

There is no common goal
there is no universal truth
we are what we have become
and your blood
is the only blood
that won't wash off

Come now,
quit this charade
and talk to me.
I'm going to be a hero to the best of my extent. I'll go save the world somehow, I'll be honest I have lots of ideas that I can tell are very original and probably would make me rich/famous. I dismiss them though because they're not grand enough. There's a longing inside of me to be like the heroes I see in movies and read about in books. There's no modern day Samurai, Cowboy, or anything else with the tiniest inkling of honor. There's cops, but that's just not the same. Vigilante justice is no more. I have decided today I am not a patriot. I love my country only for the ideals it was founded on and because I was born here. I have no other reasons. It has shown me few reasons to love it since I have arrived, yes, there have been reasons but consistently it just shows that if you have enough money you too can be king. That's not the country that was intended to be made. No, I still don't like Ron Paul's ideals. I am not a libertarian. I just wish that we could have a country that was actually a free country. Where equality was a real thing and not just something taught about in schools. True democracy would be anarchy and while I enjoy the idea, I hate the implications. We should of course be a representative democracy but we should actually have our votes mean something. Not just political parties choosing a candidate for us to like, but US choosing one. Don't think one party is better than the other either. Though I do agree with the Democratic way of being able to run for office, you just need signatures, not money unlike the Republican party. I know that I am young and ignorant of the world, but I judge by what I see. I see nothing but greedy old men afraid of losing power to those younger. You have to give it up someday, you can't live forever. Did you know Teenager wasn't even a word until about 1943? Chuck Palanuik got it right when he had Tyler Durden give his speech. We were raised to believe that we're all special. Then most of us are going to grow up and just be disappointed. That breaks my heart to think that many people will be disappointed. It's not their fault either, if you're raised to believe something and never told otherwise, how do you combat that? The brainwashing goes so deep. It's not even that those old rich men have all the power either, they just have all the money that they can buy the power with. You can't hoard all the money to yourself and give none to those lower than you. If the top is too heavy then the entire system will collapse. Capitalism doesn't have to be evil it's just slowly perverted itself into the "rich get richer poor get poorer" way it is now. I study Economics in my spare time and while I'm no export and I can see the blatant problems with Keynsian theory. You can't borrow money and hope to never pay it back. The world doesn't work that way. That's what Keynsian theory is though. If you spend more, you make more. While this works for the first few years it quickly just makes a pile of debt that the generations after you have to pay off. Thus we have the baby boomers come in and make all the money and gather all this debt. Who the fuck is going to pay for it all? It's my generation and most of us don't give two shits right now. We're no different from any generation in amount of idiots to non-idiots the only difference is that most of us were spoiled for the first half of our life now? Fuck. That's all I can say, it's going to be such a rude awakening to so many people when the recession hits it's fullest force. The economy is collapsing around us and instead of putting the fire out those in power merely ignore the flames. THE ELEPHANT IS STILL THERE. Thankfully the Federal Reserve took some steps to try and save the housing market but I fear it may have been a tad bit too late. I suppose I'm going to have to rise to power in our political power now. The problems aren't going to fix themselves. We're in for some rough years. I hope they don't kill me for my beliefs but I'm not afraid to die for them.
Here is a poem. 03-15-08 13:37
Made just for here
No one will ever read this
Besides you that visit this page
Cherish the authenticity
Because it's been done before
I write with random thoughts
And realize that this is very
disjointed
I like that
poetry doesn't follow strict rules about spacing and line breaks but
sometimes if you don't
flow
    just
     right
then the whole thing
is
thrown
                               off
And no one likes to read poems like that.
Just thought you should know. My soap box is here: www.xanga.com/altoecko and this account on Elowel is just so I can comment on other people's places. :D
:(
altoecko